Jah
Jack Armstrong
LOL me likey
Desmond Walker
- Thread starter Jonathan
- Start date
LOL me likey
William.
Jack Burkitt
He was in the globe the other day looking for one of the moderators of this forum, he looked angry shouting ''where is Colin'' ''where is Colin'' I said ''I think you mean Pete Des Walker!''
Col
Has he singed yet?
:tophat:
lol
lol
Me and some pals once gave him a lift to town, my mate was already in the front but he simply demanded to ride shotgun or if that wasn't possible then he wanted to drive the bloody thing.
I guess you'll never backseat Des Walker
Poor I know.
Just to confirm though, I have no idea on his current whereabouts.
I guess you'll never backseat Des Walker
Poor I know.
Just to confirm though, I have no idea on his current whereabouts.
Tutts
Ian Bowyer
Des was playing in a celebrity five a side tournament the other week, on his team were Andy Reid, David Johnson, the late Oliver Reed & George Best.
Their opposition were free agent Jason Euell, Australian permacrocked Harry Kewell, the magnificant Sevens late Yul Brynner, American singer / songwriter Jewell and one time Derby fool Youl Mawene.
Sadly Reidy had taken the lads out for a big coctail session and only Des turned up but played on regardless, and despite all the odds, still won 1-0.
Euell never beat Des Walker
Kewell never beat Des Walker
Yul never beat Des Walker
Jewell never beat Des Walker
Youl never beat Des Walker.
Their opposition were free agent Jason Euell, Australian permacrocked Harry Kewell, the magnificant Sevens late Yul Brynner, American singer / songwriter Jewell and one time Derby fool Youl Mawene.
Sadly Reidy had taken the lads out for a big coctail session and only Des turned up but played on regardless, and despite all the odds, still won 1-0.
Euell never beat Des Walker
Kewell never beat Des Walker
Yul never beat Des Walker
Jewell never beat Des Walker
Youl never beat Des Walker.
Shippo
First Team Squad
He went to the doctors recently and the doctor told him to seriously rest his back and stop playing billiard type games...
Guess what Des replied...
Guess what Des replied...
Rigler
Jack Burkitt
:dunno:
W
winnits
Guest
f*** off bollocks you're a **** and a twat?
Oh no, that's what he said to his old man when he had suggested Des become a Derby fan!
Oh no, that's what he said to his old man when he had suggested Des become a Derby fan!
chib-e
Viv Anderson
OMG! This thread is my favourite ever! Gutted I didn't see this yesterday!
Congrats to Tutts for starting this and everyone who has posted after, big-up!
Congrats to Tutts for starting this and everyone who has posted after, big-up!
chib-e
Viv Anderson
Before mankind Des was amongst the TREES in the FOREST and saw a big fack off dinosaur, "Roah!" it said anticipating its human lunch when Des say's, I'm sorry but you will never eat Des Walker.
chib-e
Viv Anderson
As Des stepped out of Conrads at the end of a balmy night two scary youths who were tooled up jumped out of an dark allyway, when Des says, Im sorry but you will never CREEP Des Walker!
D***y Red
First Team Squad
he was always being asked to refrain from swearing during live interviews, he just told them to f*** off, you'll never BLEEP Des Walker.
andrew1981
First Team Squad
I used to know Des. He used to go in the Wheelhouse just down from where i used to live in Wollaton. Cracking fella but always started rambling after a few drinks. Anyway, we were in there one evening having a few pints of Abbots and discussing the worlds problems and the subject came up about renewable energy sources. We started talking about the use of solar power and wind farms to create electricity, and how the stores of oil and coal are diminishing. Des was getting quite passionate about this and started telling me how he had this idea that would solve the worlds energy problems forever. He said "forget coal, forget solar, even forget nuclear. I have a solution that will never EVER run out". Obviously intrigued by this i pushed him further to explain his idea. "Well" he said, "all you've got to do is take one of my body parts, throw it in an incinerator and use the energy that comes off of that to power everything.". I was a bit dubious about this, (who wouldn't be!), but let him carry on. "You can just keep on taking bits off of me and we'll solve the worlds energy needs for ever more". At this point i thought Des had lost it, maybe all the money he accrued from the paddy power adverts had gone to his head? "But," I retorted, "Surely you can't last forever. I mean you only have a limited number of body parts? What happens when you run out?". Des laughed knowingly, "Yeaaa you'd think that hey. Turns out though you'll never deplete Des Walker."
Last edited:
Caly in our Alley
Jack Burkitt
The Muppet Show were desperate to have Des Walker on, but his agent turned them down.
"I'm sorry," he told them, "but you'll never meap Des Walker."
"I'm sorry," he told them, "but you'll never meap Des Walker."
chib-e
Viv Anderson
Des and his wife are at a family wedding reception. The buffet has been eaten and the disco starts.
Des's wife starts boogie'ing away on the dance floor as Des remains seated, he hates dancing.
Over the next few hours Des's Aunt, Mum and Grandma all try convincing Des to hit the floor, but he remains sat.
It's getting late and Des is fed up of being badgered to go and have a dance.
Only half an hour of the reception is left and Des can't wait for the party to finish.
Then Des's wife's favourite artist Jackie Wilson's track comes on, his missus is now manually dragging Des onto the dance floor and Des say's, "Look, you will never REET PETITE Des Walker!
Des's wife starts boogie'ing away on the dance floor as Des remains seated, he hates dancing.
Over the next few hours Des's Aunt, Mum and Grandma all try convincing Des to hit the floor, but he remains sat.
It's getting late and Des is fed up of being badgered to go and have a dance.
Only half an hour of the reception is left and Des can't wait for the party to finish.
Then Des's wife's favourite artist Jackie Wilson's track comes on, his missus is now manually dragging Des onto the dance floor and Des say's, "Look, you will never REET PETITE Des Walker!
Shippo
First Team Squad
Pool'll never beat Des Walker!!
In America Des bumped into Mr T who offered to be Mr Walker's bodyguard...
A sheep fan on holiday tried to assault the footballer...
Mr T caught his hand and said...
Rigler
Jack Burkitt
Fool never beat etc........
DanR
Steve Chettle
Des Walker recently refused to help Rastamouse make a bad ting good, Rastamouse said 'you're never irie Des Walker'
Shippo
First Team Squad
What's become of this forum...
Look what our team has done to us...
Turned us all into cunning punts ranting about the chances of signing some Freudian word association game.
The forum's already been cited as evidence of some neo-jungian traumatic psychological phenomenon.
Run, run and hide for the men in white coats cometh!
Look what our team has done to us...
Turned us all into cunning punts ranting about the chances of signing some Freudian word association game.
The forum's already been cited as evidence of some neo-jungian traumatic psychological phenomenon.
Run, run and hide for the men in white coats cometh!
Gary
No wonder my post count..
Last (geeky) one from me.
I tried to put Des Walker into the next stage of development but he refused. You'll never beta Des Walker.
I tried to put Des Walker into the next stage of development but he refused. You'll never beta Des Walker.
Col
Has he singed yet?
Saw Des in the pub earlier, he looked like he'd been in a fight, but he said he didn't mind, because you'll never mistreat Des Walker.
I was going to present him with some new bedlinen, but...
...you'll never sheet Des Walker.
...you'll never sheet Des Walker.
I told him to turn his oven on before putting food in, but... you'll never preheat Des Walker....
bakeri666
Geoff Thomas
I took my nephew out last halloween, and no matter what I said he insisted on knocking on Des' door... After knocking a few times we heard an angry shout
"Go away, you'll never trick-or-treat Des Walker"
"Go away, you'll never trick-or-treat Des Walker"