congo_red_49
Ale Ape
Don’t call it a comeback, I’ve been here for years.
They said it was over, they said it would never be back, they said it wasn’t good enough for Nottingham Forest…but it is Storytime with Uncle Congo!
Be careful what you wish for, he thought to himself. The cold, unforgiving wilderness of the Premier League stretched out into the distance in every direction. He had wanted this, they all did, but he now found himself wedged precariously in a gaping crevasse, with a long drop down to the familiar, almost comforting sight of the Championship. But it was a long fall down to there, and one that he figured he’d be unlikely to survive.
He reflected on how he had got here. He had reached down, stretched every sinew in his body to try and grab the alluring, tempting, three points that were just beyond his grasp… and just as he thought he’d got them, he slipped, falling into the position he now found himself. He didn’t want to drop further, but his hand was now hopelessly stuck, he was unable to climb back up, but he knew he couldn’t stay there either. He momentarily drifted into a fever dream, perhaps fuelled by his hunger, or the pain of the situation, haunted by a hallucination of Jonjo Shelvey spraying inviting forward passes to a rampaging Chris Wood…but then clarity returned and he carefully maneuvered his arm that wasn’t trapped, reached into his top pocket to retrieve his trusty pen-knife…and in that moment, Steve Cooper knew what had to be done.
Right, that’s enough of that nonsense, I haven’t got 127 hours spare to finish this story.
The last game before the international break saw Newcastle convert one point into three with a late penalty, when Moussa Nikahate showed just how long he’d been out of football as he momentarily forgot that he wasn’t allowed to use his hands. Up next is another home game, as the Wandering Wolves of Wolverhampton pay a visit to the City of Fun. It’s the start of a run that will either see us survive or… yeah, that. This one falls on April Fool’s day – so whoever makes a balls up this time can write their own headline...and it's also scheduled to be a national rail strike, so the joke will probably be on the travelling supporters.
And now, it’s time once again for the moment you’ve all been waiting for – it’s Congo’s Match Facts! A recurring series running from now until Evangelos Marinakis’ patience runs out.
Wolves were founded in 1877, but were then known as St. Luke's F.C. They changed this to Wolverhampton Wanderers just two years later due to their original name sounding a bit noncey.
Wolverhampton Wanderers are more commonly known as either ’Wolves’ or ‘The Wanderers’, their fans surely are some of the most imaginative in all of Football at coming up with nicknames.
Wolves have made their home at Molineux stadium since 1889. The name Molineux comes from Molineux house, built by Benjamin Molineux, a local merchant who was also blessed with the legendary Wolverhampton skill for coming up with imaginative names.
Wolves traditional colours of Gold and Black are a reference to Wolverhampton City Council’s motto “Out of darkness cometh light” with the Gold representing light and the Black representing the dark. If anyone has visited Wolverhampton, you’ll know they’ve been waiting a long time for that light.
Wolves currently have 12 Portugese players on their books, but only 3 English players in the squad. Oh, hi Jorge Mendes! Didn’t see you there.
Wolves are owned by Fosun International, a Chinese based conglomerate that has previously invested in Pharmaceuticals and Alcohol producers. Glad to see that they don’t waste all of their wealth
Wolves have equal opportunity Mascots – Wolfie and Wendy. I’m not going to assume which is which by the pink bow and skirt though.
“If Wolves were a beer…They would be…”
Banks Bitter
Not just because this beer is historically associated with Wolverhampton, not just because it’s golden…but also because it has been bought out so many times it’s now owned by a global conglomerate and has lost it’s authenticity and character.
They said it was over, they said it would never be back, they said it wasn’t good enough for Nottingham Forest…but it is Storytime with Uncle Congo!
Be careful what you wish for, he thought to himself. The cold, unforgiving wilderness of the Premier League stretched out into the distance in every direction. He had wanted this, they all did, but he now found himself wedged precariously in a gaping crevasse, with a long drop down to the familiar, almost comforting sight of the Championship. But it was a long fall down to there, and one that he figured he’d be unlikely to survive.
He reflected on how he had got here. He had reached down, stretched every sinew in his body to try and grab the alluring, tempting, three points that were just beyond his grasp… and just as he thought he’d got them, he slipped, falling into the position he now found himself. He didn’t want to drop further, but his hand was now hopelessly stuck, he was unable to climb back up, but he knew he couldn’t stay there either. He momentarily drifted into a fever dream, perhaps fuelled by his hunger, or the pain of the situation, haunted by a hallucination of Jonjo Shelvey spraying inviting forward passes to a rampaging Chris Wood…but then clarity returned and he carefully maneuvered his arm that wasn’t trapped, reached into his top pocket to retrieve his trusty pen-knife…and in that moment, Steve Cooper knew what had to be done.
Right, that’s enough of that nonsense, I haven’t got 127 hours spare to finish this story.
The last game before the international break saw Newcastle convert one point into three with a late penalty, when Moussa Nikahate showed just how long he’d been out of football as he momentarily forgot that he wasn’t allowed to use his hands. Up next is another home game, as the Wandering Wolves of Wolverhampton pay a visit to the City of Fun. It’s the start of a run that will either see us survive or… yeah, that. This one falls on April Fool’s day – so whoever makes a balls up this time can write their own headline...and it's also scheduled to be a national rail strike, so the joke will probably be on the travelling supporters.
And now, it’s time once again for the moment you’ve all been waiting for – it’s Congo’s Match Facts! A recurring series running from now until Evangelos Marinakis’ patience runs out.
Wolves were founded in 1877, but were then known as St. Luke's F.C. They changed this to Wolverhampton Wanderers just two years later due to their original name sounding a bit noncey.
Wolverhampton Wanderers are more commonly known as either ’Wolves’ or ‘The Wanderers’, their fans surely are some of the most imaginative in all of Football at coming up with nicknames.
Wolves have made their home at Molineux stadium since 1889. The name Molineux comes from Molineux house, built by Benjamin Molineux, a local merchant who was also blessed with the legendary Wolverhampton skill for coming up with imaginative names.
Wolves traditional colours of Gold and Black are a reference to Wolverhampton City Council’s motto “Out of darkness cometh light” with the Gold representing light and the Black representing the dark. If anyone has visited Wolverhampton, you’ll know they’ve been waiting a long time for that light.
Wolves currently have 12 Portugese players on their books, but only 3 English players in the squad. Oh, hi Jorge Mendes! Didn’t see you there.
Wolves are owned by Fosun International, a Chinese based conglomerate that has previously invested in Pharmaceuticals and Alcohol producers. Glad to see that they don’t waste all of their wealth
Wolves have equal opportunity Mascots – Wolfie and Wendy. I’m not going to assume which is which by the pink bow and skirt though.
“If Wolves were a beer…They would be…”
Banks Bitter
Not just because this beer is historically associated with Wolverhampton, not just because it’s golden…but also because it has been bought out so many times it’s now owned by a global conglomerate and has lost it’s authenticity and character.
