congo_red_49
Ale Ape
Excuse the ego-fuelled self-indulgent title, but I really didn't know what else to call this.
It has long been established that I, your favourite ale-supping, deep-Africa dwelling, Garibaldi Gorilla have the tactical nous of a King Edward potato, but I also have a wide range of genuinely 'in the know' people associated with Nottingham Forest football club, naming no names, but the Kitman's Milkman's brothers cousin, someone who met the tea-lady on the train once and a bloke who looks a bit like he could be Steve Cooper's brother who work in my local chip-shop, being just some examples.
So, I'm mindful that knowledge is power, and I wanted to share my power with you fine LTLFers, so here's some #ITK knowledge, insight and thoughts on some of the key Redmen who will don the famous shirt and kick divots out of the hallowed turf this coming season.
Matt Turner - Goalkeeper
Have you ever wondered why the United States churn out so many quality Keepers, in comparison to their relatively small (for their population) output of other positions?
Well, it's quite simple, it's said that Brazilians are born with a ball at their feet, but American's are born with a ball in their hands. Have you ever tried catching one of those balls they like playing with? Bloody things aren't even round, they go everywhere. With practice like that behind them, it's no wonder they make good keepers.
Neco Williams - Full-Back
The Welshman suffered a rough season physically, suffering with multiple concussions and then having his year ended prematurely with a broken jaw. Thankfully, he is now fully recovered with no lasting effects.
Brenan Johnson
Speaking of Welshmen, someone said that our second-generation superstar looked like he was out of shape. This is rubbish, he has been working hard in the weight room to get stronger, as he aims to impose himself physically on games and is in great shape.
Jonjo Shelvey - Midfielder Georgegeo Shelvey - Goalkeeper
Rumours that the former Newcastle playmaker wasn't working hard in training, had fallen out with Cooper, was [REDACTED] [REDACTED] in bars and spending too long watching his own highlights were all wide of the mark. He was just taking some time adjusting to his new position as a Goalkeeper.
Chris Wood - Striker
I am Wood. I am Wood. I am Wood.
It has long been established that I, your favourite ale-supping, deep-Africa dwelling, Garibaldi Gorilla have the tactical nous of a King Edward potato, but I also have a wide range of genuinely 'in the know' people associated with Nottingham Forest football club, naming no names, but the Kitman's Milkman's brothers cousin, someone who met the tea-lady on the train once and a bloke who looks a bit like he could be Steve Cooper's brother who work in my local chip-shop, being just some examples.
So, I'm mindful that knowledge is power, and I wanted to share my power with you fine LTLFers, so here's some #ITK knowledge, insight and thoughts on some of the key Redmen who will don the famous shirt and kick divots out of the hallowed turf this coming season.
Matt Turner - Goalkeeper
Have you ever wondered why the United States churn out so many quality Keepers, in comparison to their relatively small (for their population) output of other positions?
Well, it's quite simple, it's said that Brazilians are born with a ball at their feet, but American's are born with a ball in their hands. Have you ever tried catching one of those balls they like playing with? Bloody things aren't even round, they go everywhere. With practice like that behind them, it's no wonder they make good keepers.
Neco Williams - Full-Back
The Welshman suffered a rough season physically, suffering with multiple concussions and then having his year ended prematurely with a broken jaw. Thankfully, he is now fully recovered with no lasting effects.
Brenan Johnson
Speaking of Welshmen, someone said that our second-generation superstar looked like he was out of shape. This is rubbish, he has been working hard in the weight room to get stronger, as he aims to impose himself physically on games and is in great shape.
Rumours that the former Newcastle playmaker wasn't working hard in training, had fallen out with Cooper, was [REDACTED] [REDACTED] in bars and spending too long watching his own highlights were all wide of the mark. He was just taking some time adjusting to his new position as a Goalkeeper.
Chris Wood - Striker
I am Wood. I am Wood. I am Wood.
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