Christopher Grant Wood

[Redemption]

I Wood not bother.

 

[Statto]

More chance of Morning Wood

 

[PlayedOnGrass]

https://twitter.com/i/web/status/1615288839412613125

God - I hope not
What has he done with the Geordies - 2 goals in a year or something like that

 

[Notcher]

f***ing hell. Come back Chris O Grady, all is forgiven

 

[valspoodle]

I think his name says it all.

Can't see the Wood for the Trees.

 

[Dirk Furtull]

I'd rather knot.

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[Cureboy]

Sam Surridge is a better option. He will come good with his finishing again.

 

[Cortez the Killer]

I'd rather have Michael Branch or Tim Sherwood.

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[Hawkeye1947]

Trust Cooper. If he thinks he would be a good addition then so be it.

 

[Dogoo]

The rest of the team will need a BUPA plan if it is Chris Wood the blood-sucking vampire!

 

[Trents]

Not the most reliable of sources, same guys who put out a report saying we'd lost the race to sign Awoniyi.

Of course The Post has jumped on it already, as they do with every rumour.

 

[Heffing Psycho!]

Yeah I'd probably stick with Surrdige too, they'd likely be for the same job which is coming on and seeing games out. I think the issue we have is the goal threat both off the bench and in the XI while Taiwo is out, not sure Wood solves that.

 

[NFFCMagz]

"Johnson rendered impotent when starting with soft Wood"

That'll be the back page headline in the Post.

 

[Heffing Psycho!]

Essentially this:

https://twitter.com/i/web/status/1615307269519949826

 

[Chappers85]

I think his name says it all.

Can't see the Wood for the Tricky Trees.

FTFY

 

[witneyred]

I would stick with the roots of the team we have at the moment, he is barking up the wrong tree with this one we need to branch out looking for a striker, this knot the sort of player we need, I thought we turned a new leaf.

 

[Viktor]

IMO we could do with someone that we could land the ball on in games when we just can't get out. Quite a few times last season we put the ball on Keinan's chest and it got us 10-20 metres up the pitch, not sure if Chris Wood 100% fits that though? I know he's tall and was at Burnley...

and a pun to keep it going: he is alder than I'd like.

 

[Notcher]

I can see the headline now

"More Wood in the Forest"

 

[Ashley]

Yeah, certainly don't want us to be lumbered with this one.

 

[I'm Red Till Dead]

Four goals in 35 League appearances at Newcastle doesn't sound great. Some of those might be as late subs, but we need better.

 

[Listen 'ere young man]

Personally, I can't see the Wood for the trees.

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[JohhnyM]

Steve Cooper has earned the right to sign whoever the f*** he wants IMO.

He seems to have a plan for everything, can see a lot further into the future than any of us, and has demonstrated an ability to get the very best out people.

 

[Captain Sinister]

He's had more clubs than Jack Nicklaus.
And if you plot a graph of his goals scored per game it drops from right to left, along the date axis.
I was told by a City of London Investment Amalyst all you need to kow about graphs:
1 If the line goes up from right to left it is generally a good thing (apart from things like Excessc Deaths);
2 If it goes down right to left it is generally a bad thing (apart from things like excess deaths).
Woods goals per appearance graph is firmly on the "going down right to left" these days and in the case of goals per game, that is firmly in the "bad thing" category.

 

[Morpeth]

He's had more clubs than Jack Nicklaus.
And if you plot a graph of his goals scored per game it drops from right to left, along the date axis.
I was told by a City of London Investment Amalyst all you need to kow about graphs:
1 If the line goes up from right to left it is generally a good thing (apart from things like Excessc Deaths);
2 If it goes down right to left it is generally a bad thing (apart from things like excess deaths).
Woods goals per appearance graph is firmly on the "going down right to left" these days and in the case of goals per game, that is firmly in the "bad thing" category.

There's a key thing that either he or you got wrong i think.

 

[marshal99]

newcastle paid 25m less than a year ago for him,they'll be looking for their money back if we really want him. No thanks.