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Jonjo Shelvey

Rockabilly

Rockabilly

GAFF LAD. "Open your knees and feel the breeze"
RichardKeysLovesLingard

RichardKeysLovesLingard

First Team Squad
Farmer Jack said:
Hi Celtic 👋

Richard Keyes Love-Lingard is a late bloomer who is finally finding his feet at semi-professional level, and is ready for the "big" leagues.

A left back who tackles hard but fair, and has excellent stamina, he would be perfect for a cold Tuesday evening in Aberdeen. He also takes a mean set piece; comparisons with Stuart Pearce are not untoward.

If you're interested call his agent, Jack Farmer at LTLF Enterprises on 555-Sign-My-Guy, and get in there before someone like Rotherham makes the moneyball signing of the summer.
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TAKE MY MONEY, HE SOUNDS UNBELIEVABLE.
 
Matt

Matt

Stuart Pearce
redodare said:
He's highly unlikely to leave on a free - nevermind recoup the fee that we paid. He has two years on his contract to run and reportedly we gave him a small increase on his Toon salary . Therefore, estimate his wages to be 75k a week. Rough calculation then - £7.5m to pay up his contract 9or for another club to budget to take him on). Nevermind the £2-3m we paid for him.

And he arrived crocked. Just a terrible piece of business,

Spurs mates of mine said after our away game this year :
" What were you doing signing Shelvey?
Everyone knows he's lost what little pace he had. Yours is the most immobile, slow midfield we have seen"
You'll recollect how Spurs were having a torrid time and yet beat us easily, following a flimsy error prone Forest )

Every club knew apart from us?

The consequence was a change of shape and play - the move to 20% possession, low and mid block , witha hope to counter on the break . Abandon any pass or retain midfiled play.

In conclusion, signing Shelvey was either a terrible error , a desperate signing ignoring all statistical evidence or something a little more sinister. After all a deal worth £20m to club and player , has a lot of fees attached to it.
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As I said at the time, it made sense on paper. We needed a midfielder to help us progress the ball up the pitch, we had a couple of long term injuries in the middle of the park and the international recruits weren’t making the impact we expected - namely Mangala and Frueler.

You can see why we thought the punt was worth it based on what experienced premier league midfielders were available - I suspect the owner understood it probably only had a 30% chance of working out but took the risk. Perhaps of the options they had, Shelvey looked like the lowest risk? It was definitely a deal done in desperation and those are always the riskiest and least considered.

Who knows, but it’s easy to say it’s a horrendous deal in hindsight; particularly with the spectacular upturn in form of Mangala and Danilo being an unexpected upside that we couldn’t really have foreseen being as integral as it was to our form on the home stretch.
 
M

MaxiRobriguez

Bob McKinlay
DizzyBala said:
Seems his skills with the women seem to leave somewhat to be desired.
Apparently, had a girl back to his and made her watch clips of him playing football.

If anything was going to make her dry up, it's watching him play.
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She didn't hear him properly when he said 'searching balls' in the club.
 
Rubics

Rubics

Bin VAR!
Daily hail running with it - photos and video from the girl to back up her story.
If Celtic want him I’ll volunteer to drive him!
This looked all wrong when we first saw him hobbling out of the academy before signing and it’s gone downhill from there!
 
M

MaxiRobriguez

Bob McKinlay
Rubics said:
Daily hail running with it - photos and video from the girl to back up her story.
If Celtic want him I’ll volunteer to drive him!
This looked all wrong when we first saw him hobbling out of the academy before signing and it’s gone downhill from there!
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Think it's more embarrassing for the lass that:

1) She's clearly attention seeking.
2) She's probably shagged Jonjo Shelvey to get her fifteen minutes of fame.
 
Erik

Erik

oopsy daisy!
LTLF Minion
DizzyBala said:
Seems his skills with the women seem to leave somewhat to be desired.
Apparently, had a girl back to his and made her watch clips of him playing football.

If anything was going to make her dry up, it's watching him play.
Click to expand...
It's not going to go well for him is it poor lad.

'Here's a goal I gave away'
'Oh! Look - I gave away a penalty there!'
'Another misplaced pass gives away a goal'
'See how I completely sold my teammate down the river with that pass leading to a goal so I blame him for it.'
'I tripped this guy and here's the free kick that went in as a result.'
'Another penalty given away'.

.......
 
Project Zeus

Project Zeus

Steve Chettle
MaxiRobriguez said:
Think it's more embarrassing for the lass that:

1) She's clearly attention seeking.
2) She's probably shagged Jonjo Shelvey to get her fifteen minutes of fame.
Click to expand...

Yep, revealing that you went back to a footballer's house with two of his mates isn't a good look for yourself, however much of a self-obsessed bore Shelvey looks. I bet this girl is feeling uncomfortable at how much attention this is getting now.

Reminds me a bit of a story I read in the gutter press about Adnan Januzaj years ago. A young goldfigger was outraged because after she got him to take her on a date, he took her to a McDonald's and made her pay for herself

Sent from my SM-G990B using Tapatalk
 
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